Sunday, October 30, 2005
bit bored
ha.. i am studying. Diligently. Quite. Wondering off sometimes. What a good sunday! a nice n breezy sunday with the morning sun shining through my window. It's my first sunday w/o tuition for the first time? I forgot when i last had my "free" sunday. I simply love it. Though this means I am going to eat bread for this comin holi if I don't get a job. Still deciding.
I really hope this two weeks will just fly past.. asap. I really hate exam periods. STuck there with ur books n notes. Damn irritating. Haiz.. Maybe i should go for a swim. nice weather out there.
Went to holland V last fri. kekz..got a life la! ha.. can't mug too long. I am not those kinda who can diligently mug so long.. within a short period of time. I will get stress one. So, i try to start early. At least some parts so that I won't be gan cheong n too stressed up!
Maybe it's because this sem is slack so is okie la. I have plenty of time to revise n do "consistent" work whenever possible. Something i learn from Wencai. "consistency" - that's his ultimate weapon! for scoring so many As. Actually, i am e kind of person who look into big picture kinda of person. maybe that is why my essays are always very short. Which is my ultimate "killer". Maybe, this time I will have to pay more attention to details. But then, bearing in mind of time mangement in exam is important. I have to constantly remind myself.
Hmm.. thinkin of exams so boring. I shall again think positively. Lookin forward to my brother ROm in 2 weeks time.. lookin forward to my "beginner 2 salsa" two weeks from now. Lookin forward to my holi - beginning of my FYP. bleah~ lookin forward to my wakeboardin ~ lookin forward for my impresario's audition next month. Lookin forward to xmas!!! lookin forward to finding a job??!! Looking forward to my big ktv session 3 weeks from now. Lookin forward to building a great bod for xmas! Looking forward to many incredible possiblities ..
"begin with an end in mind" - eerrr..... I need some discipline n perserverance here.. =D
*************************
my last salsa lesson yesterday.
Good one. My efforts pay off. Due to my diligence in practicing. I try to practise my footwork everyday. ha.. wearing my socks so as to reduce friction .. i try to do e four turns that we learn .. ha.. am proud of myself. It's really not that difficult la. Then, again to know how to dance is one thing. But, dance with that kinda of "say" is another. Hard leh.. difficult to "yo" like wat luv does.
O.. I also look forward to my Union Square after exams! hope i won't meet any funny, "se bei bei".. =P *bit paranoid* argh~
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
chanGed Name~
If you haven notice? ha.. I quite like this name. If can, I would have change it to Gywneth? okie. I forgot how to spell. ~ duh
Haven been blogging.. busy? Yeah. Maybe. I was busy "eating snake". Okie. I admit. I have started studying since 2 weeks ago. Slowly picking up. Is my last chance to prove to myself. So that, I won't be yaya.. to anyone when i try to show off to others that getting "C"s are nothing as compared to my grades! have a few "donkies" to haolian also k!
Haiz.. Today is my last lesson for my GV17 - Magic voice in a Singer. Overall, it was fun. My class was fun. LIvely and funny people. Helpful and friendly too! Someone even organise a mass-sing along session aka KTV at Chinatown after our exams for the whole class! I hope I won't fly kite this time. Always say I'll go but there is always something that crops up. Damn~
My teacher was showing our class video clips for our "performance" last tuesday. Everyone was supposed to sing a song. So, i was saying .. I saw my video clip. It was dark due to poor lighting. Maybe I am tanned and with the poor lighting, I look really petite. My teacher commented that I look like a Kid. Yeah. I agree. Hope I still look like that in 5 years time. haha~
I saw the "mingyang" look alike .. the more i look at him. The more I think he really resemble him. got 85% lo. hah.. "tian zu wo yan" - he was filmed and captured by the TV crew from channel 8 cause he was handpicked by my teacher to sing solo. Did i mention that the TV crew from channel came to film my teacher today? She is Ms Leona Quek. ha.. okie... So, when it is broadcast, you can see for yourself! =P
REcently, it started from Angela. I was eating lunch with her. Then, i suddenly pose a question. "Do you think I have a ang-moh husband face?" Without any hesitant, she nodded. I was so happy. Ever since, i started asking people. And when people agree to my statement, I feel happy. Even now, Rong ge n Wencai will help me take notice if there is one "lurking" around. hah..~ "chong yang" they always say. Catherine was telling me " Yah. You got that look. You don't seem compatible with Singapore guys - not the ones in our class. ha.. I was over the moon =D
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Hurray! gotta get back to work!
Been crazy abt Ta Chang Jing - Jewel in e Palace (korea drama series)for the past few days/ a week. Haiz.. I am so addicted. Quote: Wencai say I watch till my eyes pop. Yeah. Almost. So, i decided to finish it once and for all. Now, no more drama series for me. All geared towards exam!
It's an inspiring show. A gal who knows how to cook and heal people. Hmm~ Wah.. hard to find in this real, cold hard world. Been snackin almost all the junk food i can find in e house. My mum.. was bit fed up hah.. ~ cause i finished her peanuts! She bought the re-fill and i finished up in one day. kekz.. I must admit I'm greedy la.. esp when gotta my damn P.
lotsa things on mind recently. Pondering if i should go for the US work n travel thing. If i go, i'll be quite irresponsible. This would mean that i have to stop tuitioning for my kids for a while. If i go, I feel that I've let down someone. Cause we promise to go together for graduation trip. If i go, I'll be able to spend almost 3 mths in US amd that I might not have such opportunity in the future. If I go, will i come back jobless? But, even if i don't go, it does not guarantee that I'll get a job. If i go, i will miss my convocation. If i go, my parents will be disappointed cause they can't attend my convocation? If i don't go, will i regret it? If i don't go, i'll not be able to enjoy with sini they all. So, should i go?
go or not go. The decision is mine. duh~ life so full of contradiction.
I Remembered:
A teacher was asking the kids to carve the names of their "people they don't like/hate" on each pototo and put in in a plastic bag. They have to carry the plastic bag wherever they go. They can put "unlimited" potatos in their plastic bag. But as days past, they kids were getting tired and that they couldn't tolerate with the bad smell that is coming out from the rotten potato/s.
what is the moral of the story?
The more hatred you carry with you. The more tired and weary you are. Why bring along such "potatoes" when they will rot and make yourself miserable?
Hah.. I have long understand this moral of this story. Yet, seriously. To do it, isn't easy. Takes lotsa convincing n persuasion. Evasion from reality. Encouragement from within n external parties. Many a times, you tend to go back to self-pity and start blaming - pointing arrows. Yah.. and also practice also. =D
Sometimes, when you think you are over n done with something but maybe you haven't.
This is the most scary part. U don't know when it will come back n haunt you.
Was just thinking .. in serious thoughts. muaahhahahah...
That story cited from my mum. Was wondering if she is hinting anything? hmm... ~
Sunday, October 16, 2005
SeEing RED
okie. bad mood for a couple of hours. all right now. After snacking some choc..
I am so fed up with myself! *sulk*
Anyway. I enjoyed my 3rd salsa session. It was left-turn on Sat. It look chim. But was fun. When we had to dance to the music. We were like.. shitz.. No one really wanted to take the dance floor with the guys. But we HAD to.. ha.. I did. I went out first. With Terence. But, kekz.. (I am not good). I was very blur. The hand. Placement of my hand. It was okie when you face the mirror but when you had to dance with ur partner. u just gar-broc~ diaoz.. Terence had to "throw" my hand away lo or rather "trying" to put my hand to the right position which is his left hand. so my left hand had to put on his left hand so he had to turn me around. Sound chim? Anyway, my 1st dance with him. I had to say sorry repeatedly cos I was so paiseh. Hah~
Actually the fun part is that you shouldn't turn yourself. The guy should lead you. So you don't do anything unless the guy "lead" you. I sound pro? ha.. actually. when you are there. U jus dance so amateurish.. as compared to the guys n our instructor - Luv. She is nice. Especially when she bothers to smile at you and give words of encouragement. =D
can't wait to go Union Square after exams~ =) I shall look forward to it.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Financial Engineering
Feeling bit sad. Just suddenly. I don't even know when it started. Maybe it started after I attended the Master in Financial Engineering Talk just now. Suddenly, just feel that I'm so lousy. In such a competitive "environment". There are lotsa of Chinese n Indians who are very good or rather excellent in their maths or computing. Their quantitative skills which the director was stressing for almost an hour throughout the presentation was damn powerful or they look damn zai.
I was just wondering. I was totally overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by my incapabilities. Overwhelmed by my lousy grades. Totally. I knew that even if i apply. I would not get in. They only take in 36 people per batch. Me? No F maths backgroud. Coming from a non- engineering background. No C++ or computing background. The course which comprises of finance, computing and Stats. I knew it isn't easy. Obviously the prospect is damn good. If you can get into this course, you certainly must have certain substance or standard. Sure, you won't breeze thru this course but if u do persist on. Ur efforts will definitely pay off.
Question: Do i want to be a Financial Engineer?
Qn: Am i good enough?
Qn: Can i persist?
Qn: Can i cope?
Qn: Do i have the appitude?
Qn: do i have what it takes?
After the presentation, I just don feel like eating. Maybe I am too "overwhelmed". Actually I just felt so lost and feel like vomiting. Anyway, I went over to ask one Prof. What do i exactly need to do to prove that I can and able to cope with this course despite my background? Yes. There are always exceptional cases who do very well. People with no maths background. Wah.. these people must ve super willpower n diligence lo. And they must be smart.
Me? smart? No. Not i humble. But i do think I am above average but definitely not cream of the crop. Dilligence? I already forgot what is that. hah.. Willpower? sometimes I think i have. Sometimes I think i don't.
Well, another thing that make me rather uncomfortable is that this course collaborate with Carnegie Mellon Uni in US. This Uni reminds me of unpleasant or evoke some things that I don't wish to bring up. Why again? haiz.. Never seem to get off my sight.. my mind. Think too much.
Feel bit guilty.
I desperately need to find a pill to disperse this spell.
Then again, I shouldn't bash myself. AFter all, I still believe. If there is a will, there is a way. Life is not only about school.
I was just thinking. I just need to prove to myself that I can. Not for anyone but for me.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
KK n Me~ 
Our Dear Dominic ~
Monday, October 10, 2005
VillagE~
I realise it's still not too bad to have tuition at 5 pm. Cos i end it by 7 pm. I know why i always complain that I am busy when actally.. I'm not really. This is because my day normally ends at 930 pm. 3 days a wk. That exclude one wkend (sun).
Join my YEP frens at Village at Chinasq Central. Thought I just bit of fun by bringing my map along. Trying to look for the place.. but in e end, i decided that it was "dark" and i should just ask around. I did eventually.
Was really very hungry when i reached. Considering .. okie my "Diet sutra" again.. I ate 2 bread in e morn. one banana n payaya for lunch. For tea time, i eat grapes, orange, 1 bread and few slices of carrots (just to have sth to nibble.. ) So, i was hungry. I ordered mushroom n ham n cheese crepe bt i only ate half of it.. cos e cheese making my sick. Then, my sweet tooth seems to be nudging me.. so i ordered .. waffle with tiramisu ice-cream. That was already 9 pm. But hack.. ~
Saw dominic ROM photos.. n his flash.. didn see clearly though.. but was sweet of him n his gf - o.. da sao. The day they met..they exchange their sms.. sth like dat.. envy?~ maybe.
was lookin thru my stuffs on sat. Things that have been left to rot or collect dust. Flip one particular old / not new diary given to me on 2004. Read the contents and felt sweet .. but, that was in e past. I also look thru some other stuffs.. refresh some of the memories that I had.. that I cherished too. but, soon, i chucked it aside and went back to my computer.. =D
Life so funny. So unpredictable. One moment u can be so happy and the other u can be so sad.
right now. I'm neutral. I am contented with what i have now.
I regret now. Posting my photos on friendster~someone say it was awful~ =( hah.. I sort of concur =)
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Painful calves
I don't know what went wrong. Did a bit of jog.. or is it e salsa?
Okie. I went to second salsa lesson yesterday. Getting more exciting.. n challenging.. doing 360 deg turn was bad enough. Yesterday, we did the cross-lead .. wah.. that was fun. =D But, when it comes to dancing with the 'men". U just gan cheong.. n couldn't do it well. Haha.. anyway. The guys are ultimate manz... They can really shake their butt.. very gracefully. I don't know how to describe la. Just very pro lo. Not like our gals.. hah.. They can really lead u and guide u lo.. *They are more experienced than us*
There was this new guy. I don't think he is from our class la. Anyway, Sharon could testify that he is tall. i think > 1.85 m. I was like.. "wooh.. not going to dance with him .. though he is quite cute.. i would say.. very manly la.. cause of his height? hmm" okie. The main reason is that. He could easily turn me around but I CAN'T TURN him..
I don't wanna to malu myself or him lo.. hha.
There was another guy named Terence. Well, i like dancing with him. Though he is a smoker. From the smell of his shirt. Haha.. he will encourage me lo.. =)
I did a run today again. N i did it "blindly" - i decided to run in my naked eye. (w/o spec or contacts). I was totally.. if not partially blind lo. While i was walking back.. i was thinkin..
EVen if someone kidnap me and try to rape me, I couldn't and wouldn't know how e rapist look like lo?! So, gals.. it's still better to run with ur spec or contacts. Don't learn from me.. hah..
I must be hallucinating ~ muahahhahaha...
Sunday, October 02, 2005
quiz - Yin n Yang
Your dominant element is earth. Even if you sometimes pretend otherwise, do you kind of like hanging out with your folks or siblings? The ancient Yin-Yang scholars saw earth types as pretty family-oriented. Also, they are generally trusted by their friends and, being very reliable and responsible, rarely disappoint them. Earth people like to invite friends over for low-key activities like watching movies or just to hang out. Do you have a fairly stable temper? It's not easy getting Earth types worked up. Even if you grab a handful of earth and throw it up in the air it will always settle back to the ground. The element earth is therefore related to stability. Trustworthiness is the dominant feature of the elemental energy of earth. This promotes the loyalty and responsibility in us. If it isn't disturbed, earth can be very stationary. The earth element therefore allows us to sit still for a while and not to change our mind too often. Things that provide security will encourage the positive qualities of earth. Everything from a sturdy bag to a well-built house can fulfill the need for safety. A humid climate is best for earth as it keeps the earth damp and stops it from getting blown away. The colors that correspond to it are yellow and brown. Earth types are known for having a sweet tooth.
i swear i din enter my birth-date lo..hmm.. quite accurate. I am not tt stagnant though~
http://www.gurl.com/play/quizzes/
Funny blog. Something is wrong with the user interface of the blog. *chuckling to myself, seems i can still remember what is user interface, something ive learn in Year 1 doing my IT project!*
Busy.. n Not busy. Busy la. For the past two weeks. or one week. Time passes so fast that I don't know what did i do for the past two wks.
I was telling Karen. I think I don't dare tell anyone that I'm quite zhuo bo.. Not to Sini, not to accounting students.. not to engine students.. only to Wencai they all. Cos they will understand what we are going thru. Is it good or bad.. or the worst is yet to come. =) Are we too efficient?
I have exactly 4 more wks to exam. Something to look forward to. I don't particularly look forward to exam but i look forward to my holi. Expect more to come for my holi as i plan my schedule ahead.
First on e list.
1)FYP
2)Part time job (need my money!!)
3)Short Holiday (headache.. !!! with limited budget n ----> limited places)
4)Driving =(
Although I should enjoy my last winter holi.. I swear I have never rest during any of my holi.. either I'm busy wif my cca (camps, jobs.. etc) I'm not going to rest either.
Basically. I am going to think thru.. what I'm going to do for the last sem. Don't wanna regret .. =)
Yesterday, went for my first Salsa lesson. Haha.. It was on my expectation. Just right. Went wif Sharon.
There was only one guy named Mathew. Did i spell wrongly? Yup.. we got a ride to MRT from him.
Ok. to narrate how malu.. we were.. or rather me. I guess i shld stop sayin that I'm an economics student. Cos.. he was from London School of Economics??!! so luc say (in hokkien) ~
He's 43 this year. A financial manager at GE (Healthcare). A very very eligible bachelor. Old enough to my or sharon's father. *actually.. din ask him why he join Salsa.. but I guess.. he wants to open up his social circle.. meeting his partner at the dance pool or rather lesson. He has got nothing to lose since he is on e winning edge* U agree with me, Sharon? hah.. jus KPO here.
back to readin~