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My Vitals ;
Name: Calista
Age: shh..
Zodiac: Taurus
Location: Prague
Profession: Greedy
A simple yet realistic gal. A salsa fanatic. Realise that Life isn't that rosy afterall. Nothing stays constant. Nothing is forever. Yet, still loving and tReasUring evEry moMent of Living in this Universe. Like thrills and challenges. cRaving for excitement every now and then. A stong believer of self-healing. An independent thinker. A less perfect person like everyone else. Not a perfectionist. Happiness comes from within not from without.

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Sunday, March 15, 2009

To be or not to be

4:37 AM

Constantly bug by a problem. Maybe I am never a problem solver.. I try to avoid coming face to face with a "serious" problem.. Hmm.

2009 isn't a good year for me. At least for a start. My desire to be with someone.. somehow is faced with many "obstacles".. I really feel like settling down at this point in time. Then, I won't have to deal with so many "unnecessary" confrontations.. Many a time, I understand that we often defend our stand strongly.. on why we do certain things and couldn't comprehend what "others" are saying... or are perceiving.. I don't really care. But am still affected.

Maybe others don't understand. But I am learning to disclose or rather share my happiness with my friends whom I used to share their happiness and problems. It is an arduous road. Unfortunately or fortunately, my friends seemed to go separate ways with their boyfriends.. (good for them because they deserved someone who love them). I am struggling not to do it too "openly". Not that they are sore. But I prefer not to display my blissfulness.

When it comes to my own family, I am happy that now that I get to bring someone along to attend family gatherings now that I am attached. Because for the past 24 years.. I have been attending family gatherings alone. I am perfectly okay attending it alone. .. but when all ur cousins are married.. and your brother have been attending with a girlfren, you feel left out. I try to reconcile with my own feelings.

Did i do things overboard? Maybe I have never cross boundaries.. just like I have never let myself get too drunk..

A sigh is all i have. I am sorry if you are reading this. I am abit sad. And that perhaps.. I will keep this relationship hush hush.. till one day we tied the knot.

Everyone is saying that this relationship is abit whirlwind. Somehow I feel safe in your hands. I don't know how long we may last. Of course I do wish forever. But time will tell.