Sunday, March 26, 2006
sUddenly miSs my ReD hAIR! 
Saturday, March 25, 2006
guess who i met?
Jason. The NUS guy who was sort of going after me last year.. ha.. surprised.. that I still recognised him.. he don't recognise me.. ? haha.. for that few minutes after i say hi to him.. my heart was thumping.. *in any case, only i knew la.*. He was with a group of frens.. including Felicia Chin.
ha.. so qiao. Sharon says he looks much younger than his real age. Well. he is two years older than me. hmm.. sharon says i look older. yeah manz.. *so was it a blessing in disguise then.. to kinda reject him* ha..
I think i lose contact with him.. becos i think.. if you reject a guy.. then.. no point to remain as "close" frens.. =D aiya.. anyway.. i have better things to take care of..
Went to watch Super Band.. ha.. nice. Though i don't get to see anything, I was too "tall" .. and eveyone seemed to be blockin me... so instead i just listen lo.. "Silence Disorder" is good. I never knew Vincent could sing and play his electric guitar so well.. ha.. I guess.. if they make it to the next round.. I would definitely show some support. I don't why I am so "enthu" abt it.. I only get to know him thru Sharon.. ha.. well.. well.. maybe.. we are from e same school.. must show some support mah.. =D It's my last opportunity to be a "xiao mei mei" to support an IDOL band..
Life can only be understood backwards; But it must be lived forwards.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Shanghai. Here i come.
ha.. went NATA's fair yesterday after a hectic day. I was really dead bit.. when i reached Union yesterday. My eyes just feel like closing. Maybe that is why no one wants to dance with me. ha.. Too tired. After visiting SA, CTC, Chan Brothers.. we decided to chose Sino-China Travel aGency. ha.. excited siah.. be out of Singapore for 8 days. heez.. i got something to look forward to.. =D
I hope to get a job by then. I think..i'm not enjoying my work at e Zi-cha store. Nvm.. i shall work for another couple of days to earn my allowance. I just spend like $8 + 2 + 4 + 7 + 7 + 4 = 32. within 2 days. Haiz.. I'm forever like dat.. what i earn is not able to cover what i spend. But, i am glad that I've just settle my graduation trip. ha.. one less thing off my mind. In this case, i do not need to think so much on money. ha.. my mum was still saying that she will lend me money if i don't have enough. ha.. =D
I was still feeling guilty that i had to borrow from my dad to pay my deposit. after all, i've been earning.. since 2003. it was stupid of me.. to spend so much in e past. e Power of SAVING. I need to have a goal. - travel twice a year? impossible. maybe once. Next time, i have money, no time. DAMN!
my blogs have always on the people i met through Salsa. They are really interesting. They are off a diff league from me. some in terms of age, work, xperience, elite, non-elite.. . Because, u are e odd one out. U get to hear many interesting stories from them. Recently, i am on close term with one gal (salsa classmate). She holds a master degree from the Uk. She is only 23. She was tellin me that she intend to work overseas. But, she is going to get her PHD first. Woah.. PhD? she as petite as me.. if not even smaller size. she is 10 kg lighter than me. Woah.. u can't imagine right. We started chatting as Union is very crowded and its hard to dance. I bear e thought of her leaving Singapore. i suppose attachment is there. since we see each other like.. 2 to 3 times each week.. for e past 2 weeks.. I was thinkin if she is straight. She is la.. cos we start sms each other.. everyday? ya..
my life has been colorful .. it's going to get better.. i need sushi ..
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
shanghai? Peking?
two more decided to pull out of graduation trip? Haiz.. i wouldn't call it a graduation trip.. ha..
a trip.. before I'll be a full-fledge working woman. Seeing ppl.. draggin those feet after work to salsa.. makes me bit scary.. and apprehensive about my future work life. e ppl ard me are working (esp when i mix with my salsa classmates).. i can't help but feeling that.. my life will be like shitz... but xinyi was saying that unless u are those high-fliers or work in those investment banks.. , life ain't tt miserable.. c'mon just look at Q? what happen? haiz.. all e more.. i should go out n enjoy myself huh..
feel bit cheated by "Kelly S. ".. (e hell to all those employment agency).. they just can't seemed to live up to expectations. After Adecco.. and now.. Kelly.. they are all reputable u know.. haiz.. nvm.. i just have to look for money somewhr else.. after all these while.. i've been working.. i can't believe that I din save up at all.
I swear to god that I'm so gonna save up for rainy days.. next time.. i start working. after paying my liabilities.. which could accrue up to 300-400 a month.
I got a feeling that .. I am motivated to go salsa because i get to see clarence. ha.. to dance with him. yest, i din. cause.. i needa go back. He was giving me this big pat on my shoulder which hurts. In return, i gave a "bigger" pat on his shoulder.. ha.. He is funny la.. askin me e obvious stuffs.. ha.. so i asked him back the "same" obvious qns. I wondered if he e kind of person.. that I expect him to be? U never know ya. I learn to trust my instinct. Woman's instinct. I believe that by lookin him from afar, by imagining him to be e kind of person I expect him to be.. I'll be contented. When you really get to know e person, it gets really scary. 2 more Days to handing up FYP.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
not born with a silver spoon
tt is discouraging =( ha.. I just got a terrible phone call just now. From my tuitee who decided to terminate me.. due to his poor performance in his recent test.
I am now thinking whether did i give it my 100%. seriously, i would admit that everytime i teach him.. I am tired. I am always rushin from work. Then, again.. i think i did my stuffs. I know what he is weak in. I know what he is lacking. Maybe I'm not fierce. I would think that maybe he got too many stuffs like me.. he has go basketball training.. etc.. That would probably spur him to study harder. I remember, last time.. no one motivate me.. just tat i am competitive myself.. that is e inner drive. Right now, I have no drive. A bit la. maybe instead of concentrating on them.. i need to concentrate on myself.. need to score a big A for my public finance. ha. .. all right I shall make it a reality. Since it is really tough.. among all e econs module that I've took.
eh.. think i spent like 12 + 5 + 8 + 15 = 40 on salsa today. I must cut down. I must be thrifty for this coming months.. I just spent on my I3 lessons. 80 bucks.. haiz..
Yesterday, i went I3 lessons.. was fun.. e guys had a hard time.. doing those moves.. awkward n unnatural moves.. I met this netherland guy.. quite cute. ha.. Gary suffer e most setbacks.. I din understand those feelings till i picked up e phone call just now. ha.. u'll be thinking..hmm.. i did my stuffs. yet still like dat.. anyway. as for my tuitee i just hope e best for him.. I don't like to threaten people.. but to come to think of it.. i often threaten my sec 4 student. ha.. I seriously think .. I can't teach primary school. so, don't expect me to become a pri sch teacher.
coming back. I discovered something new again. Zee n Nicole were once an item. argh~ Nicole is so much older.. and Nicole is a lawyer.. can you believe it? ah-lian look alike.. but she is a lawyer.
u can never judge a book by its cover. how true.. this guy i met last wk and dance at Hard rock.. is a medicine student. c'mon.. he don't look like lo.. we were giggling away.. cos i could never catch his moves.. ha.. Xinyi was like.. he is a good catch~ yeah. I agree.. ** clap clap**. but, now I am more distraught with my loss of income. It will take some time getting used to.. anyway good la.. if i am starting work.. I also can't give tuition. kekez.. I am just consoling myself.
talkin abt gary. I don't know how to console him.. but he keep emphasizing that he is demoralised. yeah. Zee was like.. ur movement is crap.. u will hurt girls.. u must go back to basic 2. from I 2 to B2. well well.. zee is very blunt. That is why many people don't like his attitude. I would think that.. gary learns it but never practice it.. E most important thing i learn from salsa after knowing Eugene is that.. don't be afraid to dance. to ask someone to dance. From a beg 2, i must say that all e people who dance with me are my "teachers". I appreciate that. There was never once i nv ask someone to dance with me.. i would think gals ve e advantage la.. guys would feel weird to reject a gal although occasionally i dance like crap. Well.. don't dance with me again lo.. Then, again.. everyone starts from scratch.. so everyone has got their "opportunity" of being a beginner.. so ya.. u must learn to dance with e beginner as well as e pros .. e same thing applies to gals.. if you are good, you are good and people will know and ask you for a dance. For me, I am no good. so i often have to ask people for a dance. * not tt people don't ask me for a dance*. This learnin curve is definitely fun~ i get to dance with Clarence again (for info, i initiated by inviting Clarence for a dance for our first dance) =D
Friday, March 17, 2006
last week of fyp
can't help grinning away.. this would be my last sat doing fyp. I spent last friday compiling and doing all e necessary changes. I will certainly miss my fyp. I remember starting from last year november.. I've been salsa-ing on my friday nights.. often returning home at about 12 pm before i start pia-ing for my fyp till 2 to 3 am. Then, have to wake up by 9 to go to school to meet our dearest Chandra. I've been complaining to sharon.. ha.. well well.. they are coming to an end soon..
HOwever, it doesn't mean anything.. becos.. it would mean tat i've to pia for my public finance. Have been slackin behind.. all e indifference curve, substitution, income effects.. very confusing.. my reading.. have been piling..
anyway. I've decided that I shall stop working by the end of March. I need some time to study. AFter all, i should enjoy being a student. at least for 2 more weeks..
I realise that besides studying.. I shall use tis time to build up my confidence..ah.i mean by trainin up..joggin and swimming.. and of course.. salsa. tsk tsk~ should I take I4? haiz.. where should i get e $? hmm.. I need to think ahead.. becos I'm at least 100 bucks poorer..
I really hope that we shall all graduate together and go for our graduation trip. I hope God will grant you e strength to perservere on.. although i can't do much.. nor offer you any encouragement.. (not showin pity).. I hope you know that we care ya.. God blessed.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
excerpt by Wu Dan Ru
This taiwanese author. Famous author and a TV host in Taiwan.
I read her books during my darkest days.. She wrote alot of inspiring and self-help books.. a very independent woman who share many of her perceptions towards life.. towards love, towards inner-self..
Today, i happened to read the Chinese Newspaper and she was featured in the front cover.
Translation from Chinese:
We have to learn to be unpredictable, always changing. Only through changing, life can be beautiful. When you become predictable, you will be like a machine.. machine is always predictable, just like yesterday, today and the future.. It will never change. Every moment is changing, that is a privilege, a human right. When you stop changing, you will somehow die in a peculiar way..
I remember reading one her books.. That book was written after her younger brother committed suicide. In the book she said" We must learn to face sadness, if not it will be a "knot" that will always remain tight"
I've almost forgotten my darkest moment.. too caught up with salsa =P
Many times, we are afraid of change. Love change. Friends change. Times change. Anything under the sun change. However, with optimism and a postive outlook... our perceptions of the world changes.. hopefully for the better.. =D
It's funny to hear four, mature men talk crap.. and gossip about guys n gals.. what German meatballs and sausages.. in front of a 21 years old undergraduate.. I can't help stop laughing. It's toO explicit and "insulting".. haiz..
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
saLsa
I have "not enjoyed" my salsa for a long time..but i did tonight. I dance with e pros..ha.ha.. clarence invited me for a dance.. ha..so nice.. to be able to dance with someone u admired..ha.. he even correct my moves.. ha..
so happy.. hope i'll be able to sleep tonight. =D
Good night. 18 days to end of FYP! jiayou.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
ladies styling and shines by Gupson
I went. I didn't plan to. But, out of curiosity.. i went. Stumped is e word.
all e people from performance team were there. Argh! michelle, derlinder, crystal went too.. xinyi went too. Surprised. Regulars from union went.. shitz. argh..
luv was there too..
1) e coordination of hands movement, e shoulder, the swing of hips.. . argh.. because i was so busy correcting.. my hands movement..i didn't remember most of e later "sets" of ladies styling..
2) e most basic steps look so easy yet so so tough.. I couldn't do well.. my hands.. don't swing e way everyone did.
3) He taught us e "fling" of head when you are abt to finish the CBLT.. I was giddy .. ha..
4) a Long tedious set. U even had to touch urself.. argh~ tat.i did that. But, I was like.. okie.. lo.. everyone did.. so .. haiz.. it's damn awkward la.. later, after e class, xinyi was like.." I guessed it's not in our nature to do that hor.. I was like. nodding.. absolutely agree with her". E rest of them.. woah.. i could see that.. they are "enjoying" manz.. ha..
5) He also taught us, the shoulder movement.. but i forgot e second half of it..
Gupson was nice .. I mean.. ya.. by not pinpointing out me.. he did it 2 times though.. in e midst of the class.. I think i was e only odd one out.. haiz.. this is so much tougher than.. e dance routine that we do in our salsa class..
I believe that salsa is really a self-expression. Which dance isn't? ahem~ somehow.. I just couldn't let go.. maybe a drink helps? I seriously doubt so.. ha.. how ? I swear that I must master that ladies stying.. !!!
Saturday, March 04, 2006
I realised that I've spend very very little time with my family. Sometimes, i don't even talk more than 10 sentences in a day.. This is how scary it is..
I always say that I treasure my friends n family.. but somehow... e proportion of my time that I spend with my family is just so " pathetic". I really don't want to regret not spending enough time with them.. So, I really look forward and enjoy my family sunday breakfasts.. That is the only time.. i will talk to them.. eat with them.. but somehow.. my tuition always schedule on sunday morning.. that is damn suey..
LIke this week.. where i finished "clocking" my tuition "hours" way before e wkend.. I get to enjoy my wkend. I can do what ever i want on sunday - which is officially my rest day. A day that belongs to me. Me and myself alone. I can choose to go out .. or rest at home.
Today, i ate breakfast with my parents and my gugu (father's sisters). I realised that the family traits lies in my blood.. I am very much like my aunt. Esp e youngest one. We both agree that "tolerance" is important in this society. Money is very important. Rather tolerate than.. lose your rice bowls.. I mean everyone's threshold is different.. I still don't know where is my limit. Of course, i pray that no one would ever break that "limit". Another thing i've discovered is that it seems that everyone in e family would just find their own entertainment. My parents, my aunts.. all involved in all kinds of activities (opera related). I am a bit amazed by them. But, like me, i like to involve in all kinds of activities.. I don't like to "stay home" and rot. ~ this sini can understand very well.. ha.. =D
As my youngest aunt is a divorcee.. I tell you, she is damn one role model that I look upon. She never once show us that her failure in her marriage means that her whole life is gone though her husband is one damn bloody bastard. She is definitely one happy woman. Travelling is her pleasure.. so she travels alot.. I am very inspired by her.. She may not be very educated.. yet, her perception of life.. is very positive. "live for the moment" is what she portrays.. she always say "no harm trying" while you are still living is what she always advocate ..
"when there is no love, where is the hatred? "
Friday, March 03, 2006
... etc.
I had a rather interesting week.
Gossip.. though, i think only Sharon get what I am saying.. ha.. cos it's abt ahem.. salsa yeah..
it? I'm not e victim.. but i was shocked when someone told me.. but i am still sceptical about it la..
2) M*** don't like zee.. Half e while.. i was thinkin why.. cos he couldn't explain himself clearly also .. But, while i was bathing just now, I remembered what happened e first I2 lesson. shall not elaborate here. No wonder Mark doesn't like zee..he thinks he is arrogant.. ??? 22 too young.. ??? I think there is just some misunderstanding la..
3) I finally talk to Karkit.. He was once an air-steward.. ha.. he got that air steward look though.. that was donkey years ago.
4) Michelle in performing team!! =D
5) Zee n Derlinder? ??? okie. This i don't know.. but. okie. nvm.
That's all that i remember.
I think.. though my sem break ended like e wk before.. i felt like this whole week was a "break" for me.. no work - part time.. so I am actually.. guilty.. of.. spending e whole day watching taiwanese drama.. I finally took out.. "qiang wei zi lian" acted by Ella of SHE. The storyline is really "refreshing". brotherhood love.. love btw sibling.. real love between brother n sister.. argh.. very messy la.. e relationship.. e world is getting messier. .. one of my friend was asking me to help her find a girl-friend.. any takers? I think i am still straight la.. perfectly straight.. so not takin any chance ya.. ha..
Did my fyp.. as usual. confused over.. what has been confusing e whole time.. argh~ *clenching my fist* - Tolerance is e word.
pathetic.. my salsa gang.. just disappeared.. they seemed so busy.. I'm so free.. but, i was giving 5 tuitions for consecutively 3 days.. not easy also k..
But, i was a good girl this week. I ate my dinner at home for the most of this week.
I went for Friday's lesson as Sharon was on holiday this week. Woah.. Friday really got alot of guys ah.. today only 3 girls and like 7 or 8 guys.. e guys were rotating.. Gupson's teaching. He didn't taught much.. just very basic steps.. and a titanic move? I think e guys.. are so seriously tryin to catch up.. that they can't seem to grab my hips "accuately".. maybe. .. my height.. is too "tall" for them to gauge the height of my "hips". It was rather ticklish.. a bit la.
I went for a KTV at e $10 club.. at Chinatown.. I was so smart to be able to find e "ulu" place.. by myself.. e place comfy and you get to sing from 2 to 7. Free flow of drinks.. cheap. Definitely recommended ya.. for poor students like me.. =) e best thing is that it doesn't look commercialised.. which is why i like about e place.. Cecilia and Fione (my econs class) they are definitely.. good singer.. esp Cecilia.. woah.. one power house .. I realise that we have e same freq .. e songs that we sing.. ha.. =)
Think I am going for my graduation dinner at Fullerton?(location not sure yet). david they all trying to form a table.. I desperately need girls for this "table"... I guess it'll be a good reason for me to slim down.. ha.. I already have picture of what I'm going to wear.. ha.. =)
I think as time goes by.. I am pretty sure that.. I'm not going to find a "partner" on dance floor..