Monday, February 27, 2006

9:21 AM

Ql babe.. =) boat quaY on Friday.

9:14 AM

Sharon takin pic with e faMous "Austrian" sausages.. Combo set for $3@Chinatown b4 headin Xenbar.

9:08 AM

took @cafe Cartel. JP shoWing ofF his phOtography skills. hm.. pretty impressed. =P

Friday, February 24, 2006

headache over $$

12:43 AM

Today is my last day of work? my zi cha part-time job.. I told ya right. Change of management.. I din't know that I will go thru this "change of management" thing.. I thought I will only experience this.. when I really start my perm. job next time.. Well.. it's really bit scary. Because.. there is alot of speculation around.. and e new boss wouldn't say anything.. everything is left hangin in e air.. who stays.. who leave? I don't like this feeling. Uncertainty~ It feels worse.. when you are tryin very hard to earn $ .. and things like dat.. just disrupt your plans..

I can only blame myself.. for spending e 900 i saved up.. last year.. haiz.. I can't believe it.. but both my account left.. very pathetic amt.. i couldn't even draw money out of it.. It's scary. Imagining.. going out... with 2 bucks in ur wallet. And you almost couldn't draw anything.. from e atm machine. Wah.. I was thinking.. "cannot be.. unbelievable.. I have to take a bus back home because i don't have money to go Union at all!"

As a student, I am considered.. rather better off in terms of my allowance.. though I never ask how much is my friend's allowance. Maybe 300? Okie. I do earn more than that.. But, I can never save up.

This time I really learn a good lesson. It's always better to save up for rainy days. U never know.. when your boss suddenly feel like closing shop.. and you are asked to leave. Now, when I am still considered young, I have e ability to look for other jobs.. But, if I am old.. useless.. e feeling i get now.. is 100X worst.

How how.. aiya.. very lazy to look for other jobs.. I can only tell myself that it's a blessing in disguise. Finally, i can take a break.. I should rest right? I am a workoholic.. From e starting of last year nov to now. ... whenever I'm free.. i will just work.. and get paid.. for just 20 (better than none).

Haiz.. don't wanna to think abt it.. let me escape from reality..

Was talking to this part-timer uncle .. He just came 2 weeks ago.. He was askin if I got bf? i said no. I said no time. Not interested also. He then say.. "good." He started saying.. this philosophy of his " everyone is sure to "die" at some guy/ gal's hand". He meant that be it guys or gals.. just beware of them.. esp. guys.. who are just "BASTARDS" He even admit himself. I think he kena cheated b4.. and he got cheated very badly.. financially.. so that was just his advice. I replied " okie. I know. I will never get cheated" But, then, to think again. Love is very foolish. Sometimes.. you will do anything and everything for that person. Even if it costs you everything.

How true. It' s not e first advice i got from him. I got such advice from elsewhere also. U can't help but believe that it is very true.

"If you really have to give, you can only give it to this man. That is your dad." This person will never harm you. I'm not saying that all dads are so good. But my dad is. Especially to me.

If only I am responsible for my own self.. I think I wouldn't feel disappointed .. e need to study very hard.. .. to earn more money.. But, then, this is e reality. I can't change that fact.

I am long-winded. Suddenly, this money issue sets me thinking.. I think I should do something abt it.. instead of sighin away~

Thursday, February 23, 2006

did my "thang"

8:00 AM

went salsa w/o sharon.. =( i dress nicely today.. haha.. winnie they all praise me.... this would mean that normally i dress very lousy la.. which is quite true... if u c me wear shorts... that is very common... i like to wear shorts with very lose t-shirts.. like gg beach like tat... very casual..

I think.. is like dat la.. i like to dress down. so when i dress up... ppl will like "woah..u going out ah?".. I dress according to my mood and of course.. if time permits.. I like to go to work.. wearing something comfortable.. (not sexy tees.. or spag.. or mini skirts.. "I don't like to wear jeans also.. unless i have presentation... or.. i got nth to wear.. or when I'm going to a cold place..

I dance with Afian today. Talking about him..i realise he isn't as cute as i thought he is.. U see.. my old habit comes again.. "hiam-ing" comes again..

I got my phone on Monday right. On Tuesday, we were sms-ing each other.. i think got 10+ sms la.. He sms me first.. askin abt salsa.. then later.. we carry on from there.. ha.. but towards e end... i think we ran out of things to say.. His msg getting shorter also.. I tot.. we were tired.. i needa sleep too.. so we ended..

I tot.. he is very young.. he really look like he is 20 and below.. But he is 23. He just finished studying from abroad and waiting to go NS. I was really thrilled when we were exchanging sms.. The old feeling just came back. The excitement..that i got from waiting his sms. .. But, i just warned myself.. not to get overboard la..

Today.. i went salsa.. I sms him.. askin him if he is coming.. and he said he was also on his way there too.. He reached there later than me. i did 2 dances with him.. and I got really "frightened". I was thinkin Oh-shitz.. I mean.. I think he is cute.. but i seriously don't like guys to keep paying attention on me.. I mean.. i don't like guys to keep askin me to dance.. Then.. I would feel that.. c'mon.. you sure can get somebody else to dance with you right? Maybe I don't like to be a "committed" partner.. I am afraid. I get very turn off.. That is e feeling I got while doing e second dance with Afian. Maybe.. I am thinking too much.. I don't know what is holding me back. I should be very happy.. that I got to dance with him right? But, i was only all right.

Kumaran was laughin at me lo.. He keep grinning.. He must be thinking.. woah.. NOT bad huh.. got a guy who keep dancing with you.. It's okie if I dance with Kumaran again n again.. because we are classmates. and we need to practise.. But of course..i will always look for other salsaras to dance with.. I need to improve my salsa la..

What's wrong with me? I said i would ask Winnie for Kenneth No.. NOw, I am thinkin twice. It's okie.. if i got "rejected".. I am only afraid that i would carry e "game" too far.. and I would find e game either boring or scary..

This is my Xperience with guys.. Thrilled, Seekin fun.. Paranoid.. getting scared.. more scared.. chickened out.. =(

Going MOS (Ministry of Sound) tml.. should i go Union first? very gianz..

Monday, February 20, 2006

IT GURU?

10:19 AM

I am sufferin from yet another flu.. body getting weaker.. not very immune to germs.. flyin around. I used to be very fit.. not so easily suffer from sore throat.. but now.. getting bad to worst..

well.. i just need more water n rest..

Sunday.. i really had a family day.. first shoppin with my bro n sis-in-law for their curtains.. then.. at night.. we go Night Safari with my aunts n my family .. Well.. nth much to see though..

Okie.. Yup.. Today I got my phone.. am very happy.. abt it.. u know. I'm an IT idiot.. but this phone managed to keep me intrigued from e whole noon till now... I was busy.. uploadin MP3.. my ringtones.. ha.. It's "full HOuse" literally.. ha.. Well well.. time to update my phonebook also.. so yup.. hope to see my frens around so as to update my phonebook..ha..

Today was rather a tiring day for me.. Work busy. And what's more I decided to heed my brother's advice.. so i went down to Change Alley at RAffles to buy my phone.. duh. they have no more stock of the phone tat I wanted.. So, i went down bugis.. It was 5 pm then.. by e time.. i buy e phone.. it was 520 pm.. i rush back home.. but still couldn't make it for my tuition.. haiz.. I was half-dead by then..

U can imagine one puny girl.. coughin n sniffing all e way from Raffles to Bugis.. darn~ not a good day for me..
I so lurve my phone.. it's been a long time.. since i dabble with high-tech stuffs..e last time. was when i tried to fix my computer.. i mean.. connectin e wires.. for my DIY self-fix PC. I managed to do it.. get it started.. n ya upload e Windows.. etc.. am i smart?ha.. proud siah..

my account is depleted again.. haiz.. at e pace my account is depleting.. i wonder if i will have enough money to pay deposit for e Travel fair coming next month? haiz.. save me..

I so really wanna go Salsa tml.. but with my runnin nose.. n half-broken, hideous voice.. should i go? haiz..

Friday, February 17, 2006

bloggin almost everything n anything..

6:01 PM

that happened to me. That's e worst part huh.. or hmm.. e better part. Some people do tell me that I am rather ambiguous in some of my entries.. yeah. I write those because they were for my understanding la.. So, i understand can liao ... got any qn.. can always ask me.. U know.. I'm always frank about it..

Anyway. I woke up with a sore throat. Ridiculous. I never eat anything heaty yesterday. Only a bar of choc in e morning. That's it. I ate fishball soup last night. Though I went home late last night. Hmm.. Recently, things happen in a miraculously strange way..

Guess who i saw at Union yest? Lijie and Angela.. They are my JC frens.. Surprised surprised.. They are learning from Gary from danc-en-motion. O.. I saw Gary there too.. hmm.. Not tall (as expected). Not bad dancing.. I would say above n above avg dancing.. Compared to Zee.. (ahem.. Zee better la.. since he is our instructor).

Okie. Ya. one thing to announce. I lost my damn phone. yup. It's time. yeah.. I lost my phone 3 times in 5 years.. li hai hor? Not very sad la.. just bit headache how.. to raise money to buy my new phone. hmm..

I am going to be out of job soon.. I'm just about to say that all bad things happen in a row.. But, i think I shan't add oil to fire.. I'm going to be all right.

So.. O I finally remember what i wanted to say. Guys. Yeap. I so gonna blog about guys.

I went bachata (last lesson). I admit i learn alot. It was only towards to end.. I learn quite a bit.. ha.. I saw this guy (his name is Kenneth). I think so. He was with this partner la.. I tot they are a couple.. but later heard that they are not... Well, I think he is cute. NOt cute la.. people so old liao still say cute.. ha.. He is more of like e "wen chong" type.. u know.. e stable n secure type.. ya.. Tall n slender kind la. Quite si wen. ha.. Should i go get his hp? hmm.. this is just so damn interesting.. kekez.. I am just lookin for my fair share of fun..

O.. Afia finally ask for my no. ha.. hmm.. too bad i lost my phone.. I think.. i will not get his no. also.. nv i think I will meet him again in Union.. Then, i go ask his no. lo.. ha.. =D

After dancing so long.. This is e first time.. I felt like.. there are finally guys out there.. kekez..

Angela was asking me" So, you dance so long liao.. got anyone hook on me?" seriously. No. Well well.. they are so much older n NOT ALOT LAH. BUt just that.. I never think this way leh.. People who took me seriously. scare me off.. far off.. I will not entertain guys who took me more seriously than I am with them.. Unless.. i initiate la.. that's a diff issue. ha.. Guys are just guys..

I just like to enjoy e moment. The thrill.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

gIrls nIght out. All's well.. all's fine..

8:02 AM

Chock once said sth to us during the past pri gathering we had last year. He said "Friends are important. If you fail to meet up, you may just miss this one opportunity to be with that person." He said this and he sincerely means it when he lost one of his fren. I've never and I hope I'll never ever have that situation in my life. In our busy lifestyle, having to turn up for just one simple dinner may seem so simple (duh) and it may seem so difficult. So difficult to find a slot in our busy schedule. I never like to miss any dinner / lunch/ gathering. I try to go if i could. U may say that because I'm so free, there's no reason not to go. Sometimes, i just don't like "missing out" e stuffs/ gossips etc.

I'm gonna began to love "mantra" - do you call it this way? Love complicated. Complicated love. suddenly, this just went thru my head. It's hard to believe in "platonic friendship" btw 2 genders. Now, it's even harder to believe in "platonic friendship" btw the same gender. Personal preferences. No man is an island. How true is that.

I'm starting to believe that I'm leading a "no-goal" life. My goal is to make as much $ so that I can go for my graduation trip. I don't act or behave like a student. A tertiary student. I don't try to score as much As .. My motivation for FYP is not to let my fren down. Hoping that I will get an A. However, it is not a must in my imaginary "goal list". I guess I'll be quite lost w/o my FYP , when i graduate and when i come back from Korea. Suddenly, that "item" would be strike off.. I'm left with my pathetic cert. Tryin to look for a job.

Today. I just finished my Cultural Intelligience main presentation. It was good. Though I'm not overseas, I'm proud to say that I got to interact with exchange students from Norway, in particular, and have a taste of cross-cultural interactions. It's not as simple as I thought. With my limited vocabulary and poor English, I have to try to talk as much. Feeling a bit reserved. Something that I always wanted to get rid off. But I would say that I think "Jostein" - from Norway is really Cute. I hope i can post his pic. If i managed to get one.. ha.. =P

Prof Ng - my prof for GE - started a topic on STereotypes today. We also talk about different cultures.. e Asian vs the US. It all became clear to me. The feelings that I experienced in JC. The loneliness I felt there. The isolation I got. How I began to "reject" e place.. and i sink into "mild depression" now n then when my emotions began to get control of me.. Today, my Prof is just listing out e "terms" or "names" to those that I felt during those pathetic but challenging times. I started learning about "individualistic" when i was just 17. At that time, I never heard of such words but somehow.. I knew that word. I knew that my friends are very much egoistic. Although i said that i have learnt to be more independent, deep down, I am very much a traditional girl. A typical asian gal living in a collectivisic society/ culture. This would mean that you do not do things for yourself, you do things (not ur own preferences) because the society/ family/ e group that you belongs to, wants you to do it this way. Woah. Is it too chim.. I think this is getting more n more interesting. I think if I've got some spare time, I do need to do some reading.. to update my knowledge on psychology. or is it sociology? hmm.. maybe bren or jac may teach me a thing or two? But, i don't want "deviation theory" k..

Monday, February 13, 2006

My V day gIft!

6:16 AM

ha.. i never thought I'll receive anything this comin V day. But, I did. From someone special. Going out tml for a movie n dinner with.. tada! my gfren la.. I jio sini la.. ah bren they all initally wanna go Devils .. but later cancelled. hmm..

I realise I just like to be in control of certain things. I like to pamper myself when I want to, i need to be pampered. I like to have control over my emotions. Over the things that I want to do. I don like e feeling of being lead around.. when I reflect on this, I realise that I am certainly wrong in my thinking. Not certainly. I mean, i should rephrase "Right now, at this moment, i choose to have control over my emotions, to do the things that i want to do.. " Maybe. Sometime. Somewhere. The right person comes along. I wouldn't mind being a "follower" at times.. I should think this should be e correct mindset. If not.. I would think that I am just being a lousy "loser" ha..

yay. I'm really busy from last thur till now. I would say up till today's noon.

Fri as usual. Went to work n go for last lesson of Salsa. Went Bachata. I wasn't quite enjoying it. Cause I miss e first lesson. I don't know e basic steps. The thought of dancing with Gary just makes me puke. I mean.. I'm sorry but I just think that he has got a problem. I am just being bad. I mean.. I don't know why but i just think that if you can't dance, you don't assume that other's cant dance as well. That is e underlying reason.

Anyway. after bachata, i thought i should go home to complete my FYP draft. But, being so obsess with Salsa.. i couldn't help it.. and iwent Union till 11 pm before taking a cab home with Kumara. I finally know e feeling of gastric.. Cause we were rushing from salsa to bachata, we din even have our dinner. I was dancing from 630 to 11pm. Stomach was grumbling.. n felt painful. Reached at 11 plus before i quickly take a bath n do my FYP. I did till 430 am. Was not very tired though. But i slept till 9 before heading to school to hand in e draft.

Later that sat evening, i went for my pri-sch gathering. The last gathering was 7 mths ago. Kelly had organise a wonderful gathering I must say. We had dinner at Fish & Co. at Glasshouse. Later we went KTV pub .. That night we open a bottle of liquor since e mixer is free-flow. I drank a cup.. n i am just so sleepy.. We played cards.. sang.. yup.. only a few of us though. O I am really surprised by Yida. What a big Change! from a super ah-beng to a normal guy.. waiting to go NTU in 2007. Woah.. Even his English has improve tremedously.. though we still communicate in Chinese. I must say that People change. And that is for e better.. =)

Went back home at 2 am. slept.. n woke up late for my AMazing RAce on Sunday. Was suppose to meet at Harbourfront at 8 am but I woke up at 848 am. I had a shock! But i managed to reach there in time before e participants arrived.

At my station, there was this senior - Gregory. Who is very much older. He graduated in 2000 and is now working at P&G IT department. As we were waiting, we started chatting with one of my junior who is on attachment. STarted chatting about e different kind of jobs.. his job scope. How he travel around in regional areas n now US too.. *i am so intrigued!!!* As for my junior, she is also doing something interesting. She is working in SPH and writing articles for ICON. Recently, she was asked to interview a group of Tai-tais.. "woah.. !" I asked her o.. how is it like.. how is e photo shoot? e clothes they wear.. they way they present themselves? are they showy? She told me that because of this interview, she went to different Boutiques to collect e clothes the tai-tais need to wear for e photo-shoots. n those clothes cost like 1000+ each. Woah.. I was like.. it must be an experience manz.. to be able to step in those posh-boutiques.. and take like a few clothes.. and walk out.. Woah.. act tai-tais.. for just "once" also not bad.. ha..

As for Gregory.. he is one lucky guy. I think he is smart la.. P &G leh.. not easy to get in. 3 interviews n one GMAT test.. I heard. AFter talking .. i felt abit stressed. ha.. He was telling us.. that it is important to upgrade yourself constantly.. As he is now takin CFA (level one) 2 more to go.. He said that e class was full! Competition is definitely strong. Recently, i just love talkin to working people.. help me understand e job market as well as e things that I should probably be thinkin of.. Been talkin to Kumara also (he used to work in public sector before moving to DBS) Hmm.. heard lotsa stories about e public sector. Always hearsay.. But it's good to hear from someone who worked there before..

E amazin end about 7 plus.. n we went went for a late-dinner at 8 plus.. n i reached home at 11 plus. I had not complete my ppt and my tutorial for monday class.. So, i just took a bath n quickly settle my ppt by 1230. I was super tired. I jus knock out when i lie on my bed.. woke up at 8 and started doing my tutorials.. heez..

Yup.. I said... busy hor.. this week gonne relaz a bit.. catchin up.. i need to. Before i get back my FYP draft.. and whole "shit" is comin.. haiz.. I'm sorry.. I had to describe it this way.. Anyway. Ya.. i need to look forward to something.. what could that be? Holi ? I'm afraid tt is gonna be shitty.. Hmm.. My I2 salsa class starting this sat/sun? hmm.. or lookin forward to seeing Zee.. ha.. I think Zee must be thinkin" my Goodness.. she (me) can't possibly makin a dedication on FM933 for me right? " just because i pop a qn last fri. ha.. hmm.. I can't tell him e reason why i asked that qn.. It's definitely not me. I am i think Zee don't listen to 933. I swear!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

No salsa

7:38 AM

I stayed at home. So guai right? Did my FYP. My project. haiz.. very very tired now..

doing e bibliography for our research paper. Woah.. Din realise I'm quite smart huh.. using e Endnote to do e citation. ha.. I tried to do e content page as well. I vaguely remember how Wencai taught me lo.. i tried n BiNGO. I did it.

Anyway. Today i went to Work and i was distraught. I couldn't find my choo-jie, evelyn and keong gor they all.. I heard they all quit! Shocked! There were 2 new people. Unfamiliar faces. I was really shocked n sad. For e first half an hour, i was not myself.. I mean I felt like quitting. Seriously. I thought of walking out. All along, I knew that "they" all were not having good terms with boss. Hmm.. Then, when i regain my "conscious", I think I just need to zhen zuo. I mean not point quitting right. Anyway, I am only going to work there 2 days a week. It's not like I'm going to work there for endless days.. I mean. the people there are not bad... at least got Linda auntie there. Maybe i just felt that my "kao-shan" all left le..

Up till now.. I realise that this world is so cruel. I mean i really couldn't bear leaving "they all". I've been working with them from nov (last yr) till now.. i mean.. time grows with attachment. I guess i'm so used to workin with them.. maybe i felt abit of insecurity.. unwilling to change .. to adapt to new people, new surrounding.. AS u can see.... Though sometimes.. i may act cold n calm.. deep down.. i am a human after all.

Heard from Linda that e boss wants to sell e shop.. hmm... I hope they would sell after April. ha..

I will need to earn more $ to finance my Korea trip. Hope it will become a reality. - My Graduation Trip.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

I've been thinkin

10:54 PM

throuout my trip.. on off.. irritating..

I wouldn't comment on what I've been thinking.. but just think I'm getting lonely. ha..

Don't even know why am i thinkin this way.. Maybe this festive season is makin me damn high.. comin back to reality.. My projects.. I am just gonna tahan for just 1 mth plus.. Hmm.. luckily or unfortunately.. my main project for my Cultural Intelligience is held one week before the sem break which is like comin soon.. gonna work hard. I always say I would. I hope i would. I really lack behind in my studies.. my econs.. Hav not attend lec n e past 2 tutorials.. (felt a bit of insecurity) E first time, i am bit stressed .. ha..

need to buck up..

gonna work soon.. ha.. sianz. Gonna pay my textbook, my concession stamp, my new salsa lessons, my bachata lessons.. and wat else? haiz.. life like dat.. endless of bills to pay.. account payables..

all this would have cost 200++.

Got lotsa of things line up.. this comin weekend. I mean i have more than one option to spend my V day.. lotsa celebrations.. Though it s a pre-celebration la.. salsa? amazing race? how come they like to coincide together? i miss my salsa leh.. I think Zee getting cuter.. ha.. =) ha. Crazy le. Heard he is NOT AVAILABLE.

This time, after comin back from M'sia. Saw my ah -yi.. (aunts).. grown old. They used to be so young lo.. Now, they are so busy earnin money.. and some of my ah-yi have to find work.. hmm..

I look at them.. and I tell myself that I will have to work very hard when I am young. When you are old, the whole job market is crap la.. U can't help believing that this is all too real.

Explore. This is my next goal. Along with my family n frens.. =D