Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Wake up call
was bit crippled today.. due to a sore on my feet. I also don't know what happen.
suddenly, don't know what to write. I din wan to switch on my computer. I ve a phobia of com now. haha.. but i know, there is things for me to settle.
I am really a sore loser n a bad lover.
Hav you ever experience of being with someone who always has to be with others or who feels depleted and nervous when alone, you could, even unconsciously, be using others -feeding off their energy and their vitality.
Detaching with love doesn't mean distancing from another. One can care, listen, and respond to other's complaint and felings, but not try to remove or fix it.
Setting others free, thereby becoming free ourselves, is called detaching with love.
If i need someone to make me happy then i fall into manipulation and control - this is not loving another but using another. Happiness must come from inside out, not from w/o.
Pain comes with love. Pain is really a sign of our loving and expresses how much we care. It is impossible to love safely - love make us vulnerable.
To be able to endure difficult times, calls for a strength of character much to be desired. The more mature the love, friends like patience, trust, tolerance, an inner knowing that love undergirds all life no matter how bleak the mement appears.
Many relationships which we call loving often are only confusions of love - confusions with sentimental impulses, or dependency needs, or our desire to dominate others for our own ends.
Being mindful. when we feel tired or angry or fearful, it is not necessary to understand why. Insisiting it will lead to futile mental suppositions, we may or may not end up with e truth. In our desperation to know e truth, we close down, to be alert, to stop focusing on love.
Patience need to be laced with courage. If we ask for help and patiently trust, e courage will come to keep traveling the road of love to the land of wisdom.
~excerpt from a book
crying won't lead to any where. I am just fearful. coming to terms with my loss. Unwilling to accept what is actually happening. Refusing to accept e truth.
I hope i'm given a chance to start out again. amidst all uncertainties...
or do i choose to let go? Unwillingly. . .