Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Little thoughts
True.. like what KK says. Watching the vcd/ dvd together under the moonlight at DCS that shows 18 days of our life together. I'm sure if one day we do, only if, i will sure cry. Memories will start pouring out. I'll remember every morning, when i woke up from my sleeping bag, everyone around me will still be sleeping. There will be some noise (children playing) outside the room. Then, i will get my stuffs and walked to the guys toilet for my morning bath. This is because i always sleep early (I din't want to wait for the queue to the girls toilet at night). It is always very refreshing. Then, by the time i finish bathing, I know that I will see Ghostie coming into the toilet. Haha.. it was a great feeling then. Nice feeling to see someone you like first thing in the morning.
I never tell people nor in my own personal reflection report to Serene how I exactly feel. Because, everyday I will feel differently and its too much to decide which to begin with. I must admit that there is always a cloud of "feeling" over me. Not a good feeling though. I regret that I did not do much over there. I regret that I went out too often. To think back, it's almost like you did nothing at all. However, I tell myself not to think that way. It is just part of my work.
Anyway, this upper portion is just a tiny reflection what i feel after reading KK's email.
I feel very "not myself" today. Deep down, I know. I know what is exactly wrong. But, i refuse to let it overcome me. So, its a battle within myself. However, I know that I will though it.
Sometimes, it's a blessing in disguise. I always have this Ah Q thought. If something happens, it happens for a reason and the aftermath is actually not that bad. It makes you follow what you are actually hestitant about (out of no choice), when that happens, you just move on and everything else will falls into place.
All this while, I've been thinking alot. Yet, you made a decision for me. I'm glad. Though abit perturbed by it. I'm glad everything is going back to equillibrium. I hope you carry on doing what you intend to do.
Riddle for the day: What is as clear as water and as fragile as a glass?