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Name: Calista
Age: shh..
Zodiac: Taurus
Location: Prague
Profession: Greedy
A simple yet realistic gal. A salsa fanatic. Realise that Life isn't that rosy afterall. Nothing stays constant. Nothing is forever. Yet, still loving and tReasUring evEry moMent of Living in this Universe. Like thrills and challenges. cRaving for excitement every now and then. A stong believer of self-healing. An independent thinker. A less perfect person like everyone else. Not a perfectionist. Happiness comes from within not from without.

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Sunday, May 29, 2005

Suffering Transforms..

8:40 AM

Was reading this book titled " One true thing". At first, I couldn't quite comprehend the story.. cos it's quite narrative. Later.. due to long hours on the train, I had to read something to pass my time.. I began to understand the story. It is about a cancer mother.. and how her daughter or rather her family try to take care of her and come with terms with her illness. I thought the feelings described was very familiar to that mentioned in Tuesday with Morrie. I suppose when you are struck with an illness.. (serious one), you tend to think more and began to see things.. in a different perception.

" You can be hard, you can be judgemental and with those 2 things alone, you will make a mess of your life the likes of which you won't believe"

About marriage:

" you make concessions when you are married a long time that you don't believe you'll ever make when you're beginning. You say to yourself when you are young, you wouldn't tolerate this or that or the other thing, you say love is the most important thing in the world and there's only one kind of love and it makes you feel different than you fel the rest of the time, like you're lit up. But time goes by and you've sleep together a thousand nights and smelled like spit up when babies are sick and seen your body droop and get soft. And some nights you say to yourself, i had enough and you won't put up it. And next morning you wake up and look at your husband and he's not the person you used to think he was but he's your life. The house and children and so much you do are built around him and your life, your history. If you take him out of your life, its like cutting his face out of all the pictures, there's a hole and it's ugly. It would ruin everything. It's more than love, it's more important than love.

"people love in different ways. Sometimes hugs & kisses, sometimes something else. And sometimes they can't feel it, they're just made that way."

I kinda of like this book. I have not finished the book.

Had a hectic Saturday.. rushing to n fro.. coming back home at around 4 am in the morning. Went drinkin with Sini.. talking.. about my bottled up feeling that I've had in the past week. She said something very right. I was angry and I still am. However hard i try to hide my feeling.. my weakest link.. it just "errupted" again. I try to tell myself to be more generous.. then again, I am not. I am angry at myself too.

I don't know if she said this right. The guilt will always linger in your heart if you are a very principled person. Are you? I don't know. But being an "evil" person.. I hope it does haunt you for the rest of your life. Then again.. to err is human. It wasn't intentional after all.

.. i still believe in the healing power of Time.