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Name: Calista
Age: shh..
Zodiac: Taurus
Location: Prague
Profession: Greedy
A simple yet realistic gal. A salsa fanatic. Realise that Life isn't that rosy afterall. Nothing stays constant. Nothing is forever. Yet, still loving and tReasUring evEry moMent of Living in this Universe. Like thrills and challenges. cRaving for excitement every now and then. A stong believer of self-healing. An independent thinker. A less perfect person like everyone else. Not a perfectionist. Happiness comes from within not from without.

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Friday, August 12, 2005

Perplex here...

11:19 PM

I just don't get it la.

Guys are behaving the same way. Actually, I don't think the prob lies with guys. Gals also. The feeling of someone close to u.. having a change of heart suddenly.. SUDDENLY feeling CONFUSED makes u confused too. There is seriously no hard and fast rule.. to how u should deal with cases like dat. Love comes with vulnerability. I hate to say that but it is a fact.

There are many types of relationship. *It is only when i grew up then, i realise that there is no such thing as pure love.* Or maybe, I haven't met one yet. Love is a feeling. Feeling of the moment. Will it ever GO AWAY? Perhaps that is why celebrities often get married and divorced. Then, you would be like wondering why? Do they they treat it like a game. Actually, love is like a game. A risky game. Some say is a gamble. I absolutely agree. The rewards n punishments you get are often "harsh". The pain is indescribable.

I really enjoy my singlehood, to the extent that I'm so ya ya 'bout it. I can't help grinning.

I can never understand why my mum never worry for me. - getting a boyfriend or a husband. *Though my grandmum n my mum never quite get along, there is one thing they have in common* - They always think that I will be better off being single. Though I am still happy about it, I can't help but to think that "true. I am happy. Truly happy now that I'm single. But, I don't wanna grow old alone. To say I can live perfectly fine without a special someone till the day I die is absolutely bullshit" " to say that I do not need a "bastard" to take care of me.. is bullshit too". However, if I keep ponder and wonder when will that "someone" comes along .. then, I think I am in a pool of "shit" too. Do u understand what I am talking about?

Just don't get it la. My mum actually want me to be alone forever? I never ask her the real reason but below are the possible reasons:

1) She couldn't bear to leave me.
2) She think that I'm attractive enough .. She has got so much faith in me? Getting a bf in future. What if i can't? =(
3) Studies more impt. ( a valid reason for now. let's c.. if she will change when i start to work)
4) She thinks that all guys are "bastards" except my dad.
5) I am still young. 21? young? ok la.. NOT TOO OLD THouGH.

I remember when I was 18. First time working in a firm. I have this friend. She is very pretty. So pretty that many guys turn their heads when we were walking on e street. *I swear this is true*. She is very intelligient. Very. Good enough to go Oxford. She is rich. Damn rich. Havin a chauffeur to drive her around. She told me that she wants to get married. She didn't wanna be a spinster. "what's the use of making so much money, when you have no one to share with you." She told me that. From that day onwards, I know that as much as I want to be a independent woman *climbing up e corporate ladder". I will not want to neglect my private life. I do not want to be someone so successful in making so much money yet, yet ..

then, again. I believe in God's plan. So I shall not worry so much yet. No point worrying about something that you have no control.

Shall live in e present.

Be brave ya. I will always support u, no matter wat happen. We love u.